Live Blogging: Show Us Your Kilts Day '11

Malt Madness presents three dudes' quest to brew many a tasty gallon o' Scotch Ale / Wee Heavy (aka Ben & Garrison's quest to actually brew it whilst MB attempts to document their progress).

10:20am: BtM and GK get things started by crushing a bunch of grain (pictured right) using the former's homemade "monster masher." In total, roughly 22 pounds of grain—including mostly base malt, plus chocolate malt & Belgian biscuit malt.


1:03pm: If I could jump ahead to the present for a moment (I'll return to recapping earlier events shortly), I'd like to mention that the 3 of us are currently enjoying the subtle complexity of Pittsburgh's finest: Iron City Beer, which is proudly recognized among a handful of American-made pale lagers to have successfully recreated the 
taste experience of "inhaling the brewmaster's fart."


10:48am: The crushed grain meets the hot water and together they make enzymes and sugars are extracted.  BtM does some stirring (left).  I believe this is the process that BtM once put into terms I could understand as "making some oatmeal." This part of the process also marked, if I recall correctly, the debut of Garrison's mash tun.


1:39pm. BtM asks me to take charge of DJ duties in addition to blogging, then goes outside to check on the brewing.  I respond by queuing the epic GnR track, "Estranged," on repeat.  BtM comes back inside and says: 

"Oh nice!  Does this mean you're anticipating it being a long day?  I assume this isn't on random then?"

No, not on random, my friend...just on repeat.  It will about be another 28 minutes until the song ends and then promptly recommences. Will anyone notice?  I will keep you posted

Right then, back to the brewing:

11:02am: GK realizes that some extra specialty chocolate malt is called for, and rides BtM's bike back to his place to retrieve it (left).  Upon his return, the bike's owner reclaims his property with a quick jaunt (right) down Weeping Willow Street (note: actual name of street changed to protect confidentiality and throw the Iron City Brewmaster—who recently obtained just cause to "go Rowdy Roddy Piper" on this operation—off the scent).


2:05pm: "Estranged just started for the 3rd time.  We're all in on the joke now. And it's not funny anymore. iTunes is now on random, and Bowie is playing. Good start.

12:21pm: The lads begin the lautering/sparging process, which entails taking the mash (i.e., the combination of hot water and crushed malts/grains) and draining the sugar-rich water into a separate container.  The extracted sugary goodness is evidently referred to as "wort."  In the photo to the right, GK is adding additional hot water to the mash—a step called "sparging" that helps guide the extracted sugars through that tube thing BtM is holding and into the wort pot (note: "wort pot" is not to my knowledge an actual beer term, but rather something I just pulled out of my mass mash hole tun).  

1:03pm: Pictured (above) is a closeup of the wort.  Notice the contrast between the color of the wort and the color of the gloves: the surest sign yet that the beer will not end up boasting the "latexy pinkish" hue that our detractors at Iron City Brewing had predicted.


3:35pm: the wort has been boiling for some time now.  In other words, it's got a fever, and the only prescription is some "Challenger UK" hops...which have just been added:

3:43pm: iTunes' (random) DJ feature just started playing a song with very prominent bagpipes.  Is it a sign?


3:47pm: Time to pause, and remember that there are certain stratospheres of literary excellence to which this live blog post can never hope to reach.  Take it away Luca:

Sigh

The ICPD tried to sneak another round of alcohol compliance checks past me, but luckily I happened to check the City of Iowa City website due to the storm last week and noticed it.

I won't waste time here with fancy words.  On January 27th, the following bars sold to a 20-year old working with the police:

Mickey's
Piano Lounge
Pints
Sports Column


Our list is now:

Smitty's
Nick
HOL
One-Eyed Jake's
Bo James
Dublin
Savvy
Hills Bar & Grill
Slim's Saloon
Donnelly's
Hawkeye Hideway
Vito's
Union
Chappy's Dry Dock
Dawg House 
Mickey's
Piano Lounge
Pints
Sports Column

Adivina quién está girando el gran 3-0????

Megan es cumplir 30 este viernes, y qué mejor manera de celebrarlo que una fiesta y margaritas!



Ven y únete a nosotros para la fiesta, y tal vez podamos llegar a hacer 30 disparos tequila.

La Cava (by Texas Roadhouse)- 6 pm

Johnson County Love, the remix

Inspired by Axe's shockingly awkward video, I thought "why not create the 'music' video we were all clamoring for a mere 13 months ago in this spectacular format?"   I think I may have managed to ruin a classic post with my crazy idea, and for that I apologize (although I have yet to listen to it and not bust out laughing at least once). 

While we've been away

A good end makes for a good beginning.....

As another year comes close to an end, let's celebrate our last happy hour with our winner-

TCB! and Happy Joes


See you at 6:00!

Do The Harlem Shuffle

One-Eyed Jake's: Done. Summit: Reeling. Vito's: Circling the drain. 808: Toast.

Let's be honest. If we were to compare the exploits of Malt Madness to the music of, say, the Rolling Stones, surely these 3 four bars represent our "(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction," "Jumpin' Jack Flash," and "Brown Sugar" and "Honky Tonk Women"—in short, our greatest hits.

I mean seriously, when you think of our greatest happy hour highs, pint-induced peaks, ale-induced apexes & Zima-induced zeniths, can you think of any that did not occur at either Jake's, Summit or Vito's, or 808? Me neither.

So what now? Is it time to throw in the towel? Move into the retirement home? No! I'll tell you what it's time for. It's time for our version of the "Harlem Shuffle":



At first glance this song/video may appear dated, sub-par, horrible—even nauseating.  But let me draw your attention to the 3:18 mark of the video, when Mick Jagger implores his audience to quote: "Shake a tail feather baby."

There it is. Way back in the mid-80s, when everyone thought the Stones were washed up, they came out with a hit song featuring the very line that would single-handedly inspire the single greatest achievement in American pop culture of the entire 25 years that followed its release.

In short, reinventing ourselves will be "dirty work," and at first the critics are likely to not understand it, but it is essential that we move on from our Jake's/Summit/Vito's/808 roots—indeed, the entire future of the Iowa City bar scene may depend on it. So where do we begin this Friday? Fox Head!